With the prevalence of social media in our lives, it can be difficult to know how to respond or react to posts or opinions. A lot of us have written something on social media that we instantly regret, or perhaps we’ve even gotten into a no-win argument that devolves into a back-and-forth mudslinging competition.
It’s easy to let our emotions get the best of us – and you’re entirely justified in having those emotions. However, it’s also important to control how you respond. Dr. Nadia Mendiola, medical director of inpatient pediatric psychiatry at Northern Light Acadia Hospital, offers five ways that you can develop a healthier relationship with social media and, in turn, a healthier relationship with your friends and followers.
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Identify what you’re feeling and why
“So, if you’re reading something on social media and noticing your body is having a response, whether you’re getting hot, your heart is beating hard, or your thoughts are moving like a bullet train, then that is a good sign that you’re having feelings toward something,” says Dr. Mendiola.
If you can’t quite put a finger on it, you can start by looking at a feelings wheel that you can find online to try to identify that feeling. Once you identify the emotion or the feeling, you can talk with a loved one or friends and reflect on why you’re having that feeling.
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Choose the right words
“We should treat creating a social media post similar to how we carefully choose the words that we use,” says Dr. Mendiola. “You really want to make sure you know who your audience is, and use clear and concise words and statements.”
Dr. Mendiola says that, when in doubt, trust in the old adage: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”
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Think -- or wait and reconsider -- before you post!
It’s important to tune in to your own emotional state when posting or responding to a post on social media. Oftentimes others will post statements with the intent of eliciting a strong response. Don’t feed the trolls.
“If you are having strong emotions or reactions to another post – or there’s something else in your own life or environment that is causing you distress -- that may not be the right time to post on social media or respond to others,” says Dr. Mendiola. “Perhaps give yourself time for your emotions to reregulate and then re-read your post before submitting.”
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Understand the difference between posting and in-person interactions
When you’re talking with someone, things like body language, tone, and inflections, can help you communicate your points in a conversation. The recipient can often pick up on your meaning – whether you’re being sincere or making a joke, or whether you have strong feelings or are more indifferent about a subject. When you’re communicating through social media or text, you lose the ability for the recipient to fully understand how you’re trying to deliver that message.
“’Hi’ vs. ‘hi’ can give two very different meanings in person, depending on how it’s delivered,” says Dr. Mendiola. “Yes, there are certain punctuations and emojis that can help, but even then it can be more up to the discretion of the reader.”
Know that on social media, you are writing and reading with your own emotion and tones. In turn, the person on the other end is doing the same. Try avoiding misinterpretations by asking the intention of the message without judgment.
“For example, ‘I am getting sarcasm in that comment, is that what you intend?’”
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Know when to log off
Dr. Mendiola says there is research that links an increase in anxiety and depression with an increase in social media uses. Though there is no hard-and-fast rule around how much time you should or should not spend on social media, it’s important to be mindful and know when you’ve had enough.
“Set boundaries with yourself and your kids,” she advises. “When you’re out with your family or at a social gathering, try staying off your phone, and turn your screens off 30 or 60 minutes before you go to bed.”