Addiction Care

I came to Northern Light Acadia Hospital in 2014 with some very stigmatized and misinformed ideas about how it all worked. I would learn and grow into something that I never believed I would be. I had experience with medication and counselors before, but they never provided the legitimate treatment that I really needed.

I researched to see what the safest option was for me. Walking into Northern Light Acadia Hospital was the smartest move I ever made. I found the support and the treatment that worked for me. I found a community with my peers, which lead me to a beautiful place. Recovery isn’t easy, but it is worthwhile. I found that the staff was indeed invested in my wellness and eventually the wellness of my child also. I’ve grown in many ways which all stem from my experience with my recovery community at Acadia.

I was given proper opportunity, access, guidance, and when necessary, tough love and structure. I will have nine years of successful recovery soon, and I know that from what I’ve learned in and out of care, I will be set up to continue with a bright future ahead!

The Addiction Care team leads with not only evidence and science-backed treatment programs, but also with heart and more compassion than I thought existed. My community invested in me, and I am now doing what I can to invest in it.

I recently read a book in which the wellness community is dissected from a monetary perspective to heart, and I can attest, Northern Light Addiction Care and its staff are, without a doubt, full of heart.

“You cannot have a whole ‘me’ without first having a whole ‘we’.” – Kerri Kelly, American Detox

My name is Barry, and ever since I was about 14 years old, I’ve struggled with opioids. At first, it started with other substances, but once I tried my first pain killer, a light bulb turned on. Once I learned about mixing opioids and benzos it was a wrap. In younger years, I’d take pills from family members and maybe get some from friends at school.

I earned lots of money growing up working, and I saved a lot as well. In high school, I met some older people, about two to three times my age. This is when I began using oxycodone and morphine. First, it was small things like Vicodin, 5-10 mg, Percocet, or Valium. These packed a punch without having to take as many. I’d moved on to snorting pills at this time and told myself I'd never inject them like a lot of the people around me were doing. At this point, I was 17 years old, my funds were limited, and I was working part time. I was achy and sick and was told, "Dude, your dope sick." This is when the IV use came into play, and I was in love. This is when my life jumped off a cliff. I started spending all my money, and even stealing. I went to jail for the first time at 19 years old— a huge wake up call, though it didn't teach me.

I went on probation which started a years-long process of going in and out of jail for using drugs. I got into the methadone clinic a few different times but didn't take it seriously. After getting in some more legal trouble, I went to rehab which really planted the seed for recovery, but AA and abstinence-based recovery just wasn't for me. I'd find myself slipping up from time to time. When I graduated probation, things gradually went downhill and then COVID happened. Between losing my job and having all the extra unemployment money, I started going hard. Fortunately, this time I didn't let myself get into legal trouble. I got to a very low point and was barely surviving. I got back into the clinic, but still didn't know how to stop using.

One day, I was involved in a bad accident. I walked away without a scratch, and that really scared me. Two days later, I started going to the coast and volunteering with, of all animals, alpacas. Between getting so sick of the life I was living and having positive things to keep me busy, I started to really focus on my recovery. Mike at Northern Light Addiction Care had been my clinician the past few times I was a patient, and he took me on again. Working closely with Mike and the nurses, I got to a stable dose and stopped using illicit drugs. I worked with a psychiatrist and got my mental health properly diagnosed and treated, which was a huge help. I got my take home doses, and almost 20 months later of being ‘clean’, I work as an enrollment coordinator for a local suboxone clinic. Things may not have happened as quickly as I wanted, but everything has played out just how it should. There are no days off working on recovery, but the results are just so worth it!

I joined Acadia Hospital’s Medicated Assisted Treatment (MAT) program the first time when I was pregnant in 2008. I completed the program and left in 2010. But then the unfortunate happened: I relapsed and lost myself for many years. I tried many times to get clean and sober on my own, but nothing worked, and my addiction got worse. Finally, after my seventh overdose I had had enough. Enough of this struggle, enough of letting people down, enough of not being good enough. I had enough of living this life. Tired of living from couch to couch. Tired of not being involved in my own daughter's life. The ambulance brought me in to the ER because I had overdosed again (my 7th time) and when I awoke, I told them I have had enough; if they released me, I'd be back because I can't stop this addiction. It's got a mean, tight grip on me, and it won't let go. I was honest. I asked for help. I was ready to get clean and sober in May of 2019. I checked myself in patient for a little over two weeks until my appointment date to start the medication I needed on June 5, 2019. I also participated in Acadia’s Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), and then in September 2020 I went back to Addiction Care. I enrolled at Beal University in the addiction counseling program and have already received my associate degree and am now working on my bachelor's degree in addiction counseling. Soon, I plan to earn my recovery coach certification and from there, I plan to continue for my master's in social work. My personal goal is to be a substance abuse and mental health counselor who works with the incarcerated population and others. I want to give back to the community and help those like Northern Light Addiction Care helped me.

It’s been nearly 20 years since I walked through the doors to Northern Light Addiction Care (then known as the Narcotics Treatment Program). I walked through the doors heavily addicted to prescription painkillers, OxyContin in particular, as well as crack cocaine. The previous Friday I had confirmed what the at home test had already shown: I was pregnant. Three months pregnant, to be exact.

In those days, methadone and suboxone clinics were few and far between. Although they were starting to gain their footing, the best I could do was a waitlist of at least a year for methadone (at the time I was not considered a good candidate for Suboxone.) Additionally, I would be expected to attend daily group sessions – sessions that lasted hours, not including travel time, took up most of my day. All while trying to make ends meet, and in active withdrawal. It felt impossible.

Try as I might, I cannot fully express the horrors of active withdrawal when one is acutely addicted. Your brain is sending signals to your body to encourage you to use the substances that it has forgotten how to function without. Many people compare it to the worst flu you could imagine. That does not begin to describe it. Desperation is a way of life. You walk a tight rope, not just daily, but hour by hour.

Many times, when I attempted to go “cold turkey,” I landed in the hospital. Many more times, I prayed to whichever God might listen, begging for them to just let me die. Please, please just let me die. I couldn’t do this anymore.

Before this addiction, I made high honors in school. I used to be the captain of the cheerleading squad. I had won awards for my writing talent; one even being awarded the top 10 best teenage writers in the State of Maine. My mother often said I would be the next Stephen King. I loved freestyle rock climbing and was good at it. I enjoyed hiking, art, and traveling. I love to bake, cook, run, create, and live life. I was truly alive before I tried that first OxyContin. Before the migraines and the Demerol shots.

I remember the day I walked into the methadone clinic, clutching a confirmation of pregnancy letter from walk-in care. I was so scared, but once I walked in those doors, I never looked back. I wish I could tell you I had a miracle moment, and it was easy. The methadone helped me beyond the worst of the physical discomfort. Once my dose was stabilized I was able to attend the groups and therapy. It was still difficult, but no longer impossible. It was attending every day. Counseling. Groups. Taking the medication. Removing myself from the people, places, and things associated with my use. It was not using. It was choosing – choosing to live and feeling that little life inside of me, and knowing I was in the right place.

As that life grew, so did I, and when I felt safe to do, so, I started to open up little by little. There is this ugly stigma that comes with addiction and recovery, but particularly with methadone. Many people do not feel safe to speak their truth. They have lost their jobs, children, other family members, friends, their homes, all because of that stigma. So instead, they hide it, and stay quiet, never speaking their truth. They live out there, experiencing successes quietly, under the radar, living alongside of you. They are at your doctor’s office, in the waiting rooms, as your medical assistant and phlebotomist. I know, I’ve been those things. They flip your burgers, mop your floors. They work in your pharmacy and your medical marijuana dispensaries. They care for your kids in your daycare. Quietly, they are everywhere.

Unfortunately, most times the ones you hear about haven’t reached their full potential yet. They are desperately trying but haven’t beat their demon. Addiction. You see them on the news, and it reinforces that methadone patients are bad: trading one addiction for another. Many think clinics should be closed. But for everyone you see struggling in the news, there are so, so many more living quietly behind the scenes because they aren’t safe to speak their truth. They have cultivated too much to risk losing it.

Not me, I want to raise my voice. I want to show what us methadone patients, addicts, those in recovery can do. At the time of this writing, I am about to graduate college with my associate degree in Addiction Counseling and with a 3.8 GPA. I will be the master of ceremonies at my graduation, and I plan to return for my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. I just want to help people on their journey to recovery.

My son is now almost 19 years old and is attending college to become a paramedic. He wants to help people too. He is a beautiful young man inside and out. I have spoken to him early, often, and age appropriately about addiction so that he understands the dangers of drug use and knows that though he should not judge, he should also not get pulled in to experimenting himself. That beautiful human being would not be here without the methadone clinic. Neither would I.

I have lost so many beautiful and beloved souls to addiction. Recently, I lost my niece to a fentanyl overdose. She was a biology student at the University of Maine in Orono. She was also a mother. Her light faded out, alone in her bedroom with five boxes of Narcan on the night table beside her. The thing about Narcan is there must be someone there willing to administer it. Her name was Kayla. I lost my sister Heather. Allen. Callie. Booker, Herman, Matt, Kim, Jason, Tyler, Jeremy, Kevin, Lexi… I could go on and on.

Methadone saves lives. Period. For every client you see in the paper for some minor infraction, there are so many more staying off the radar. Staying out of trouble. Staying sober. Going to college. Raising their children. Living. Thriving. We don’t make diabetics feel guilty for taking their insulin, why should we make an addict in recovery feel guilty for utilizing their prescribed medication that is a valuable tool in their treatment?

Almost 20 years ago, I walked into Northern Light Addiction Care and I walked back out never to abuse drugs again. Methadone works! Suboxone works! If someone wants to get sober, and they truly and honestly work the program, it really works. Every recovery is different and utilizing a medication is not the “easy way out. Some people can go cold turkey, some cannot. It has to do with genetics, length of time using, variety of drugs used… the list goes on. It has nothing to do with your morality or strength, except that you were strong enough to admit that you had a problem and that you needed help. One thing that I do know about strength is this: people in the recovery community are some of the strongest people I know. I am not ashamed, I am proud of how far I’ve come, where I am now, and who I am becoming. I have a beautiful life. Nothing beats a sober belly laugh shared with loved ones. Laughing until you cry is the best medicine out there. 20 years ago, I thought I’d never laugh again. I have never been so glad to be wrong.

My husband and I have been attending Northern Light Addiction Care for two years, and it has, without a doubt, been the best two years in probably 15-20 years. Before coming to the clinic, we were both in active addiction. We were continually moving, not working, and barely surviving. Our families worried about us and were always waiting to get "that call." Today, thanks to the Addiction Care clinic at Acadia, we have a much more stable living environment, steady jobs, and our families are proud of us.

Acadia has been about so much more than just the medication. It holds us accountable. The counseling has helped us both tremendously, and the support from everyone who works there is amazing.

In active addiction, I made every excuse not to go to any clinic, saying, “It's just trading one drug for another”, or just that it wouldn't work. I was so wrong. Our life has done a 180.

Most importantly, our kids can count on us. We are there, in the moment and making memories with them every day. We have gotten to take them on two vacations and lots of camping trips. We are living our lives again thanks to a great support system and Northern Light Addiction Care.

My name is Nicole, and I am a patient at Northern Light Addiction Care. I remember my first day at Acadia like it was yesterday. I was the tender age of 21, pregnant with my first child, and had a raging drug problem. I wasn't a bad person; I never imagined that I'd end up here! I grew up in a small town in Maine with a loving family. I graduated school with honors and was otherwise referred to as “Miss Goody Two Shoes.” I didn't smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or break the law. I was a good kid. What happened?!

The year was 1998 and the mother of one of my friends was prescribed Oxycontin for a neck injury. I’d been prescribed Percocet for migraines so when she offered me something stronger that lasted longer, I jumped at the chance. I never thought that would be the beginning of the end--the worst decision of my life. The following few years were sad, and truthfully, disgusting. I did things that I never thought I would do, just to prevent from becoming physically ill. It was literally as if the addiction had appeared overnight. We didn't understand it in the beginning, but soon realized we were dependent on a little pink pill. I somehow made it through those years without going to jail or overdosing, and for that, I am thankful. When I found out I was pregnant in 2003, I thought my desire to be a mom would outweigh the need for the drugs. I tried so hard to stop using on my own but the physical withdrawals that I felt were amplified because I was growing a tiny human. I just couldn't bear it. I had heard that Northern Light Acadia Hospital had a substance use outpatient center that used methadone as replacement therapy, but I was terrified that if I asked for help and admitted that I was actively using illicit substances, DHHS would take my baby away from me. I had always wanted to be a mother. I was born to be a mom, there was no doubt about it, and I would do anything to protect my unborn child! The undeniable desire to protect my child is what ultimately made me make that dreaded, fearful phone call to Northern Light Addiction Care. The person that took my call that day helped to change the course of my life. I had built the situation up so much.

It's difficult to admit that you have a problem, let alone admit that the problem is something illegal, and then tell someone about it and ask them for help getting out of the situation. I was judging myself, so I was certainly expecting judgement from the person I was calling. Gratefully, that was not the case. I could hear genuine empathy and concern from the person on the other end. Her first concern was my safety, and once I felt safe, I could open up and be honest. She explained the process and made sure that all my immediate needs were met, and I was in a safe space before scheduling an appointment for intake the following day. Since day one, through all my ups and downs, the staff has been nothing but supportive. Going into treatment is overwhelming and scary.

A safe environment is so important in recovery. I have always felt supported and safe at Northern Light Addiction Care which has aided in my recovery immensely. It takes so much pressure off to be able to walk into a place to receive care where you're greeted by name, and the staff takes time to get to know you, your children's names, their likes, or any needs you may have. There is staff there today that were there on my first day back in 2003. That is loyalty and that means a lot!

With the help of Northern Light Addiction Care and an amazing counselor I have not used illicit drugs in 20 years! I have two beautiful, intelligent, happy teenagers, a beautiful home in the country, a nice, reliable vehicle and a great relationship with my family and friends. All these things would never have been possible if I didn't have the courage to ask for help. It hasn't been easy. In 2019, I suddenly became very sick with several debilitating illnesses. I was hospitalized several times where I had to undergo tons of procedures and invasive tests. After not responding to months of infusions and aggressive treatments, my care was transferred to Mass General where I was hospitalized again. It's extremely difficult to navigate the medical system and advocate for proper care when you have been labeled by society as an "addict." Northern Light Addiction Care was by my side every step of the way helping support me while I learned. I learned from experience that it is possible with a lot of hard work to lead a "normal" life – a better life. The path to recovery is full of potholes to avoid and mountains to climb, but it's a path worth walking. The first step is asking for help.

I came to Northern Light Addiction Care in 2014 with some very stigmatized and misinformed ideas about how it all worked. I would learn and grow into something that I never believed I would be. I had experience with medication and counselors before, but they never provided the legitimate treatment that I really needed.

I researched to see what the safest option for me was. Walking into induction at Northern Light Addiction Care was the smartest move I ever made. I found the support and the treatment that worked for me. I found a community with my peers, which lead me to a beautiful place. Recovery isn’t easy, but it is worthwhile. I found that the staff was indeed invested in my wellness and eventually the wellness of my child, also. I’ve grown in many ways which all stem from my experience with my recovery community at Northern Light.

I was given proper opportunity, access, guidance, and when necessary, tough love, and structure. I will have nine years of successful recovery next spring, and I know that from what I’ve learned in and out of care, I will be set up to continue with a bright future ahead.

The team here leads with not only evidence and science-backed treatment programs, but also with heart and more compassion than I thought existed. My community invested in me, and I am now doing what I can to invest in it.

I recently read a book, American Detox, by Kerri Kelly, in which the wellness community is dissected from monetary perspective to heart, and this program, and its staff, are full of heart. An excerpt from that book: “You cannot have a whole ‘me’ without first having a whole ‘we’”.

My name is Paul and I have been in recovery for about a year and a half. Before making the choice to stop using and seek help I was constantly in chaos. My dealer was always stealing from me and putting me in situations where I could end up losing everything, including my family. Methadone has given me the ability to take back control of my life, to not worry about losing my family, or my life. Since I started methadone maintenance treatment at Northern Light Addiction Care, I have been more successful in my business and in my personal life.

My name is Libby, and my addiction began like many others – a prescription for pain medication. I found out quickly that it numbed not only my physical pain, but the emotional pain as well. Due to my traumatic childhood experiences, I knew that I did not want my own children to go through the same thing that I had. I knew that I needed to get help to prevent that from happening, so I reached out to Acadia Hospital.

When I first came to Acadia, I was feeling a lot of guilt and shame around my addiction. I did not feel as though I was contributing to society in a positive way, and I did not like that – I knew it wasn’t who I wanted to be. I wanted to find myself again. I liked who I was, but not who I had become.

The staff at Acadia have been amazing since day one. The security staff, the receptionists, intake coordinators, counselors, and the nurses and doctors have all had a positive influence on my recovery. They know all of us by name and there are a lot of us! That in and of itself speaks to the exceptional quality of care.

Northern Light Addiction Care has been a lifesaver for me. I was someone with substance use disorder and they helped me get sober. They also helped me find myself again and my true potential. I have always been drawn to helping others and I am now working as a peer recovery coach. I am also working hard to further my education so I can continue to make progress towards my goal of a career helping others with substance use disorder. I would not be who I am today without Acadia’s help, and I am happily and gratefully paying it forward.

At Northern Light Addiction Care, I am more than just a number to the staff. I am Libby. And I am proud to be in recovery.

My name is Jessica. I am a patient at the Northern Light Addiction Care program. I have had substance use disorder for almost 20 years. I have been in some very abusive relationships. I was made to believe that I was worthless, no good, stupid, fat, and lazy; I was told that nobody would ever want to be with me. I have been in and out of different treatment programs, but I never felt like an actual person when I was in the other programs. I was failing my random drug screens and I did not care.

This all changed when I started to go to the Northern Light Addiction Care. I have been a patient here for almost four years. I have been able to lean on a counselor whom I can talk to whenever I need to, Danielle, and she has been a major supporter of my recovery process. The rest of the staff is incredibly supportive too. Judy is a psych tech, and she is always in such a great mood. Becky is a charge nurse, and she is always willing to help the patients in any way she can. Then there are the dosing nurses; they are all amazing people. Many know the patients’ names. Since being at the Northern Light Addiction Care, I feel more like an actual person and not just a number like at other facilities.

The counselors genuinely care and listen to each patient and what they need individually. I can pass random drug screenings and now have four “take-homes.” I have attended multiple groups and found peer support and I also successfully found employment as a Personal Support Specialist and a Certified Residential Medication Aide. I can support my small family and none of this would have been possible without the support of the amazing staff here at the Northern Light Addiction Care.

Story coming soon.